Seeking to Be the ‘Perfect Parent’ Not Always Good for New Moms and Dads

Parents of newborns show poorer adjustment to their new role if they believe society expects them to be “perfect” moms and dads, a new study shows.

Moms showed less confidence in their parenting abilities and dads felt more stress when they were more worried about what other people thought about their parenting skills.

However, self-imposed pressure to be perfect was somewhat better for parents, especially for fathers, according to the results.

The findings are some of the first to show how the quest for perfectionism affects first-time parents, said Meghan Lee, lead author of the study and a graduate student in human development and family science at Ohio State University.

“Trying to be the perfect parent is a mixed bag,” Lee said.

“If you think you have to be perfect because of outside pressure, it really hurts adjustment. If you put these demands on yourself, it may have some benefits early on, but it is not universally good.”

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